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from www.buffalobeast.com/69/kino69.htm
The problem with a lot of children’s movies is that they only try to entertain the kids. There’s really no incentive for adults to bother, with the exception of the relief of stopping a nagging child dead in their tracks. The better children’s movies keep children entertained as well as engage adults.
Because of Winn-Dixie is not one of those movies. It’s one of the formulaic kids’ movies that features a lonely little kid who meets a dog that becomes her best friend in a world where no one understands her. Of course there’s conflict and, when all works out in the end, there’s the parent who lets the kid keep the dog. It’s enough to make you cry—or puke.
The story is told at a third-grade reading level and works under the crass presumption that everyone who will ever view it is weighed down by extra chromosomes and third nipples. But, while I normally consider it an insult to see a movie that’s told to me in car salesman style, that’s not even the worst part of it all.
The strychnine in the shitpile comes in the form of Dave Matthews. That’s right, Dave Matthews. The same Dave Matthews who is the scourge of the music industry. The same Dave Matthews who is loved by idiotic college students everywhere who are well into their seventh year of college. The same Dave Matthews who writes music that anyone who still has a fraction of a clue could listen to a billion times and still not get. Just like they wouldn’t understand what the hell he’s doing in this movie.
The Demonic One plays a pet store owner who pulls out his guitar and plays a little ditty whenever the animals in the shop get whipped up.
I’m not a parent myself (as if you hadn’t guessed), but I do have a novel idea. It’s going to seem a little out there, but just bear with me. Instead of taking your kid or any kid to see this movie, why don’t you read them a book? Take them to a library. A museum. Even a parking lot would be better than subjecting them to this kind of crapola. The fact of the matter is that this story is going to be told a million times more in your kid’s and even your lifetime. You don’t need to see this one.
The problem with a lot of children’s movies is that they only try to entertain the kids. There’s really no incentive for adults to bother, with the exception of the relief of stopping a nagging child dead in their tracks. The better children’s movies keep children entertained as well as engage adults.
Because of Winn-Dixie is not one of those movies. It’s one of the formulaic kids’ movies that features a lonely little kid who meets a dog that becomes her best friend in a world where no one understands her. Of course there’s conflict and, when all works out in the end, there’s the parent who lets the kid keep the dog. It’s enough to make you cry—or puke.
The story is told at a third-grade reading level and works under the crass presumption that everyone who will ever view it is weighed down by extra chromosomes and third nipples. But, while I normally consider it an insult to see a movie that’s told to me in car salesman style, that’s not even the worst part of it all.
The strychnine in the shitpile comes in the form of Dave Matthews. That’s right, Dave Matthews. The same Dave Matthews who is the scourge of the music industry. The same Dave Matthews who is loved by idiotic college students everywhere who are well into their seventh year of college. The same Dave Matthews who writes music that anyone who still has a fraction of a clue could listen to a billion times and still not get. Just like they wouldn’t understand what the hell he’s doing in this movie.
The Demonic One plays a pet store owner who pulls out his guitar and plays a little ditty whenever the animals in the shop get whipped up.
I’m not a parent myself (as if you hadn’t guessed), but I do have a novel idea. It’s going to seem a little out there, but just bear with me. Instead of taking your kid or any kid to see this movie, why don’t you read them a book? Take them to a library. A museum. Even a parking lot would be better than subjecting them to this kind of crapola. The fact of the matter is that this story is going to be told a million times more in your kid’s and even your lifetime. You don’t need to see this one.
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